Old

Hey ya'll,
I have it. I have discovered the fountain of youth. It's not a fountain. Actually, it has nothing to do with youth either. It's the secret to longevity.

I visited my Aunt Frances today in Sheboygan, WI. She is 102. That's one hundred and two years old. She is not senile in any way shape or form. She finally got her first walker this May.

The secret:
Exercise. She does it every morning when she wakes up.
Eat what tastes good.
Keep making new friends. As you get older, make friends with younger people. Otherwise all your friends will have died and you will be alone.

I'm a problem-solver

On November 6, pirates attacked a cruise ship off the coast of Somalia. The pirates opened fire on the ship with RPGs and AKs but they couldn't board the ship. The captain, who has my upmost respect, attempted to ram one of the small pirate vessels, but missed. He then steered the cruise ship safely out to sea.

Here's the news story.

In response to this attack, cruise line officials are discussing ways to beef up security in pirate-infested waters, such as sending more US and UN warships to patrol.

When we saw this on the news, my dad and I came up with a way to solve the pirate problem cheaply, entertainingly, and painfully(to the pirates, that is).

Everyone has heard how the cowboys used to travel across the west on trains, shooting precious bison out the windows as they went. The herds of bison were reduced drastically. Cruise lines should do the same: offer passengers the opportunity to rent a high-powered rifle and use the pirates as moving targets. It would be fun because the pirates were in inflatable boats, so after one hit they would slow down and start to sink. Then the cruise ship passengers could watch them dance around in a sinking boat, simultaneously trying to bail out with their khat bags and dodge bullets. Better yet, the crew could mount remote controlled machine guns to the side of the cruise ship. Then they just unplug the X-Box in the lounge and introduce the kids to the best game system in the world.

BACK

Its been awhile since I've posted so I thought I'd better. If you read this, comment so I know that I have readers. This is an old article about abortion. Comments, kudos, dittos, vicious arguments/insults appreciated. Read:

Zac Swedberg
17 January, 2005

Abortion

The argument over abortion stems from several questions.

1. “When does human life begin?
The definite answer to this question is humanly unattainable. There are three possible answers: at birth, at some point in the womb, or at conception.

Birth was a sufficient answer until recent years. Medical science and technology have made it possible to peer into the womb and examine (or destroy) an unborn baby without risk of killing the mother. That same science also makes the first answer insufficient, as we can observe the exact same attributes in unborn babies as in babies outside the womb. Birth itself seems simply to be a change in surroundings, not a reception of humanity.

Over the years, several laws have been made specifying times after which an abortion is illegal, based on an idea that humanity is attained at some point in the womb. Humanity obviously exists in the womb, as babies in the womb have been shown to display similar reactions to outside stimuli as babies after birth. They react to music and their mother'’s voice. During surgery, one unborn child hugged the doctor'’s finger. Creating a law of this sort depends on all babies developing at the same rate. They don'’t. As each child is an individual, each has an individual set of genes and a unique womb to develop in, making growth rate possibilities endless. Therefore no time can be specified that would serve as the attainment of humanity for all children.

Conception is the safest answer. Conception is the beginning of the human growth progress. It is the time when genetic uniqueness is established. Morally, conception is the best answer, as the other two answers are indefinite and leave room for mistakes. Absolute surety is a necessity in the abortion issue; after all, human lives are at stake.

2. “What control does a woman have over her body?”
The feminist movement commonly states that unrestricted abortion is one of a woman'’s reproductive rights. They argue that because a woman owns her body, she should be allowed to terminate whatever is living inside it. I will agree to this on the two following conditions:
A.) I am allowed to abuse and kill my dog because it lives in my house.
B.) I am allowed to vacuum the brains out of any future passengers in my car.
Of course, I am just kidding, but their logic is atrocious. A right allowing one to take the rights of others is not included in any rights of ownership (the right to life is established in the U.S. founding documents).


3. What is justifiable homicide in reference to abortions?”
Before making any exclusive rulings dealing with abortion, there are a few "“what if"”s that must be examined.

“ What if the child is the product of rape?:”
Republicans such as President George W. Bush and radio talk show host Sean Hannity believe that abortion is moral in cases of rape. Pregnancy through rape is an awful situation for a woman to experience, but it cannot justify abortion. The child produced by the rape should not be treated as if he is the perpetrator. His father committed the crime. No one should be punished for another'’s crime, least of all an innocent child.

What if the mother'’s life is at stake, and can only be saved by terminating her pregnancy?”:
This question is impossible to answer by anyone but the mother mentioned, as only she can really understand the decision she is forced into making. Fortunately, the situation is also extremely rare. It must be taken on a case by case basis, as an abortion in this situation could be considered self-defense.

Conclusion:
No argument can be made in favor of murder. At the same time, no significant argument can be made supporting the conclusion that human life begins at birth, or at any time in the womb. Therefore the only safe point of view for a society which claims any moral or virtue is a firm stance in opposition to abortion.

MÁS GAY

This article can best be read with Alexis's article in a separate window so that either can be viewed rapidly. Each of my numbered paragraphs is a response to one of her's. I will also respond to some of the comments.

1. Alexis, if you doubt that gay people think being gay is all right, surf around the following web pages:
-National Gay and Lesbian task force
-GenderPac
-Dignity USA
-Soulforce
By the way, I'm a protestant. I don't believe that procreation is the only right reason to have sex. Thank God.

2. No, I don't believe that everything must be for the good of society. However I do believe that any evolutionist with a bit of sense must believe that good means good for the species.

3. I apologize. Using the word "credible" only confused you. The difference between these two groups of religions is this: The member religions of the first group believe as a unit. The members of the second group believe that truth is individual.

4. Your comment is worthless. Attacking smoking and skydiving (and etc) has nothing to do with proving that homosexuality does society more good than harm. Why must you prove this? You used the word "we," so I assume that you fit into category three. Proving this would disprove my belief that homosexuality is not all right according with your belief. Of course, you don't really need to, but if you don't you lose your intellectual right to criticize my belief, which is what started this debate in the first place.

5. Hard as I try, I can't find any place where you proved that homosexuality makes positive genetic change or helps society. The point of the family.org article is contained in this sentence: "There is no research indicating such homes will be good for children." Researchers Judith Stacey and Timothy J. Biblarz claim they are bad for children. Plus, last I checked, spreading a deadly and thus far incurable disease doesn't help society.

6. My point is this: Almost everyone in this category believes that humans were created. Homosexuals in this category believe that homosexuals were created gay. They argue that this shows their god's support for homosexuality. I maintain that homicidal maniacs seem to have been created that way, but no one in this category argues that this shows their god's support for homicide.

7. I don't care if the kid was complaining on his blog. Actually, that's exactly my point, I don't care. That's what's making me angry, the news media is covering one kid for doing the same thing everyone else does: complaining.

8. Yes, Alexis, gay people do that. I see it everywhere I go. Restaurants, stores, movies, concerts, it doesn't matter where or when; they're there, and they have annoying lisps.

Now, I want to clarify some things about myself, especially to Will, who made some incorrect (and fair) assumptions about me. I do go to church (Evangelical Free), however I disagree with my fellow churchgoers in many regards. First of all, I'm not a Republican. I would be a libertarian except for two things: I disagree with them in national defense, and they can't win elections.
Like libertarians, I do not support a Constitutional Amendment that would define marriage as between a man and a woman. In fact, I believe that marriage should not be Federally regulated. As far as I am concerned, marriage and all consensual "bedroom issues" should left entirely up to the States.

As a Christian, I believe homosexuality is wrong. I also believe that heterosexual sex is wrong, unless between consenting married partners. However, I know that my beliefs are personal. Given an opportunity, I will never hesitate to evangelize, but I realize that evangelization cannot be forced.

The article Simertamai mentioned was interesting in all its inauthoritative glory. However, it's based on the assumption that there is such a thing as a "gay gene." According to the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality and BBC News (and every other source I found), there is none.

Islam Pt 4

I'm typing from one of Kish College's computers, so I'm away from my notes and Koran. I'm kinda winging my entry about Muhammad's Hijrah, which I think is funny because Muslims take it seriously.

Muhammad told no one of his plan for fleeing Mecca. Muhammad's friend Abu Bakr was told to have two camels ready, but he did not know why or when they would be used. When Muhammad heard of the Qureysh plan to kill him and received a command from Allah to leave, he began his plan of escape.

Muhammad realized that the young Qureysh men were watching his house to make sure he did not try to escape. If he did, they would kill him. Muhammad had a friend named Ali Ibn Abu Talib dress in Muhammad's clothes and sleep in his bed. Just before dawn, Muhammad snuck out. He met with Abu Bakr, and they escaped from Mecca and headed south. They knew that know one would expect them to go south because all of Muhammad's followers had gone north to Yathrib. They hid in a cave outside Mecca for some time. Abu Bakr's son went to them daily to bring them food and tell them of the Qureysh plans to find him.

One day, some of the Qureysh assassins happened to be searching the countryside nearby the cave. They asked a local shepherd if he had seen any two men who were like them. The shepherd (unknowingly) suggested that they might be in one of the nearby caves. Abu Bakr overheard this and began freaking out, fearing that they would be discovered. Muhammad only prayed, and they both withdrew into the farthest corner of the cave and tried to stay still. Two Qureysh men presently looked into the cave, but when they did they noticed undisturbed cobwebs and a pigeon in the entrance. The men reasoned that one one could ever have entered the cave without disturbing these. But Muhammad and Abu Bakr both knew that a miracle had just occurred.

After three days, the search of the outskirts of Mecca had ended. Muhammad and Abu Bakr called a servant to bring their camels. All three of them began blazing a new trail north to Yathrib so they wouldn't be detected.

Note: The Muslim calendar begins with the Hijrah, Muhammad's flight from Mecca to Yathrib, which took place during the summer of AD 622.

Islam Pt. 3

History Pt. 3:
After about three years, many Qureysh grew tired of expatriating Muhammad and his followers. So, they brought out the document from the Ka’bah. To their surprise, they found that the majority of it had been eaten by white ants. Only the words "In thy name, O’ Allah" remained. They took this to be a sign that they must accept the Muslims back into Meccan society.

Now that he was back in Mecca, Muhammad began preaching again. He had little success at first. However, during the next pilgrimage, he met a group of travelers from Yathrib (Medina). This group was very interested in his teachings.

The group from Medina explained that in their city a group of Jews had been teaching that a prophet would come, and that the Jews would then rise up and destroy all the pagans. When the group met Muhammad, they realized that he must be the promised prophet. They swore allegiance to him during the next pilgrimage (note: there was no mention of fighting in their oaths). Muhammad sent a Muslim teacher on the group’s return to Yathrib.

Because of the continued persecution of Qureysh, the Muslims soon decided to move to Yathrib. Their flight is called the Hijrah. When many Muslims began to sell their things and leave, Qureysh were afraid that they would become too powerful when they were not oppressed. So they decided to kill Muhammad (note: Muhammad’s uncle and protector, Abu Talib, had since died). They cast lots, choosing one murderer from each tribe. At the same time Muhammad received a new revelation which ordered him to make war on his persecutors. It was the first revelation commanding him to be violent.

I Heart Faggots

Alexis, first of all, I’m not gay. I’m so straight it’s annoying. However, by your logic (its called baseless accusations), how can I be sure that you jumping to the gay kid’s defense isn’t a sign that you’re gay? Just kidding; enjoy your medicine.

I don’t hate gay people because they are gay. I hate them because they think being gay is all right. I would give up a debate with any person who could accomplish one of the following:

1. If they are an evolutionist, they must prove that homosexuality does the human species any genetic good.

2. If they are a member of a "credible" religion (Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Mormonism, etc.), they must prove, according to the doctrine of their religion, that homosexuality is moral.

3. If they have some other belief system (Hinduism, New Ageism, "many roads" belief, etc.) they must prove that homosexuality does society and the individual engaged in homosexual acts more good than harm, or at least doesn’t harm them.

Positions 1 and 3 can’t be defended. Homosexuality does not help genetically because it cannot make any genetic changes. Homosexuality does not help the individual or society. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 68% of the total cases of HIV infections were caused by homosexual sex. Families with two parents of opposite genders raise the most successful children (read this: http://www.family.org/cforum/pdfs/fosi/marriage/Citizen_Health_of_SSF.pdf I’m too lazy to do my own research on the subject right now).

Position 2 can’t be defended either. A credible argument has never been made from the standpoint of any of these religions. Thus far, the best defense homosexual Christians have made is: "Since God made me this way, it is meant to be." However, you don’t see them defending the Unibomber with the same logic, or thieves, or pedophile rapists. I wonder why…

As far as the queer kid (the one I suggested for CD’s blog) goes; he deserves ridicule. He received nationwide news coverage because he griped about his camp on a blog. Worse than that, his accusations were either baseless or insignificant (*gay voice*: "OMG they have rules. Ewww!!"). Thousands of kids go to fat camp every year and the fag gets the news coverage. Give me a break.

Alexis, you also mentioned that people should not be defined by their sexuality. You are absolutely right. Now tell that to all the homosexuals that adopt the fake lisp and spend their free time in those AIDS ridden cesspits known as gay bars. I rest my case, for now.

Islam Pt. 2

History Pt. 2:
The words given to Muhammad in his trances are now known as al-Qur’an (English: the reading). For the next three years, Muhammad preached to his family and his close friends. The other Meccans began to think that he was a little mad.

The first Muslim, other than Muhammad was his wife, Khadijah. The second was his cousin and adopted son Ali. The third was his servant Zeyd. Another important early convert was his friend Abu Bakr.

At the end of the three years, Muhammad received the command, "Arise and warn," which began his career in public proselytization. Many poor and oppressed people became Muslims.

Muhammad’s tribe, Qureysh, became angry that people were turning to Muhammad’s preaching and away from the idols in the temple Ka’bah. Qureysh began persecuting many of Muhammad’s followers, especially the poorest ones. They would have killed Muhammad, but they feared retaliation from his family’s clan. They contented themselves with ridiculing his teachings and persecuting his followers. The persecution grew so bad that Muhammad encouraged his followers to leave Mecca and go to Abyssinia, a Christian nation.

The Ka’bah was the destination for a yearly pilgrimage. All the people in Arabia would come, so the Qureysh had a major financial interest in its success. They became worried that the preaching of Muhammad and his growing group of followers would interfere. To avoid this, they offered this compromise to Muhammad: We will accept your religion and make you king if you will declare that our gods are intercessors to Allah. Muhammad rejected the compromise.

Qureysh then went to see Muhammad’s uncle, Abu Talib. They offered him this deal: If we are allowed to kill Muhammad without ramifications, we will give you the best of our young men to replace him, as well as whatever else you want. Abu Talib refused, and the anger of Qureysh grew to a further extreme when one of their own, Omar, became a follower of Muhammad.

Eventually they grew so angry that they drew up a document that completely ostracized Muhammad, his clan, and all his followers from the rest of the Meccan community. The document was kept in the Ka’bah. For the next three years, Muhammad and his group lived secluded in his stronghold right outside Mecca. He only ventured out to preach at the time of the pilgrimage.

Islam Pt. 1

This is the first in a series of articles I'll be writing about Islam. My purpose is mostly to formulate my opinions on the religion, and to verify or destroy my previous hypotheses on the topic (such as that killing a Muslim could be considered self defense). I'll begin by going over the history of Islam according to its own tradition. Then I'll move on to specific topics of belief, for example: salvation, moral law, prayer, prophets, Jesus Christ, marriage/divorce, sexuality/homosexuality, etc. I'll also analyze and compare the average American Muslim with the "extremists." I want to test the popular theory that the terrorists are actually orthodox, and that American Muslims are the real extremists (as far as belief goes, that is).

History Part I:
Muhammad was born about AD 520 in Mecca. As a Meccan, Muhammad could claim to be a descendant of Abraham through Ishmael. His father died before he was born so his grandfather raised him. When his grandfather died, his Uncle became his protector.

As a young man he would travel in caravans, working in the service of travelers. During one such journey he was in the service of a widow named Khadijah. She was impressed by his wise handling her business transactions, and they later married. She was 15 years his senior. Their marriage lasted until her death twenty-six years later.

In Mecca, there was a temple, believed to have been built by Abraham. It contained several idols: the daughters of Allah. Muhammad and many Meccans became skeptical of this idol worship and broke away from these temples. Instead Muhammad would go out into the desert to a hill named Hira and would spend the month Ramadan in meditation there.

During one of these meditations Muhammad fell into a trance. He heard a voice, saying to him, "Read!" He answered, "I cannot." This happened three times. When he woke up he went outside. Outside the cave, the angel Gabriel appeared to him, saying, "You are Allah's messenger." Muhammad got scared, too scared to move. He tried to look away, but no matter where he turned his head Gabriel was there. Eventually the angel vanished.

Muhammad was still scared out of his mind when he went to his wife. She tried to reassure him. They went back to Mecca to see Khadijah's uncle, a sage. He believed that the spirit that had contacted Muhammad was the same one that had contacted Moses. According to some traditions, Muhammad's wife is said to have "tested the spirit" and declared it "good." These two convinced Muhammad that it was indeed Allah who had contacted him.

THIS BLOG IS NEW

I'm not the type of guy to fall behind the times, so since all my friends have been blogging lately, I decided to start one of my own. Actually that's not the reason. The real reason is that Kapper is gay. His blog doesn't allow anonymous comments, so I started my own so I could comment on his.

Enjoy.

Not another Doonesbury

I've always believed that there are three places where politics should not be discussed: the comic page(not the editorial page mind you), a first date, and someplace else that has slipped my mind. Unfortunately, as the other two readers of Alley Oop and I recently discovered, even the seemingly most innocent comics are being infiltrated by the agents of the lefty mainstream media. That's right. Alley Oop has officially become just another liberal stinkpiece. In the story, the evil republican red states split from the Union and created Crimsonia. Now the Republican thought police are interrogating the doctor dude and the future guy while Oop and the know-nothing blonde look on. The interrogators might as well start using newspeak, calling the "terrorists" "thinkcrimers" and claiming to work in minipax and telling them that they need to learn doublethink. It's a cheesy Orwell ripoff and Alley Oop readers should join the other 99.99% of the population in boycotting it.

There is one good thing about it. Obviously the red states kicked some serious blue state booty in order to become independent. I can see it now...

Bush, of course, would lead the red states. The red state slogan would be "Crimsonia: we don't castrate our straight men." Michael Moore would lead the blue states. Their slogans would be "Teal Land: at least we have diversity," and "Stop name calling you brain dead, evil Republicans."
Since 73% of the military backs the Republicans, the only thing the Dems could do in the Civil War would be to ask the UN for help. The UN would send some peacekeeping troops wearing blue helmets, which would make it easy for Republican five-year olds to identify and pistol whip them with their own guns. The war would last about five days. The blue states would win on one front: fashion. That's right, their gay uniform designers would make sure that their uniforms would be the snappiest teal outfit ever. Unfortunately for the blue states, all their resources would be spent on replacing the uniforms daily, otherwise they might get out of style.


Update:
With my awesome webhacking skills I found the pre-edit copy of an Alley Oop comic. Thankfully an editor got to it before the author could publish it.