I've always believed that there are three places where politics should not be discussed: the comic page(not the editorial page mind you), a first date, and someplace else that has slipped my mind. Unfortunately, as the other two readers of Alley Oop and I recently discovered, even the seemingly most innocent comics are being infiltrated by the agents of the lefty mainstream media. That's right. Alley Oop has officially become just another liberal stinkpiece. In the story, the evil republican red states split from the Union and created Crimsonia. Now the Republican thought police are interrogating the doctor dude and the future guy while Oop and the know-nothing blonde look on. The interrogators might as well start using newspeak, calling the "terrorists" "thinkcrimers" and claiming to work in minipax and telling them that they need to learn doublethink. It's a cheesy Orwell ripoff and Alley Oop readers should join the other 99.99% of the population in boycotting it.
There is one good thing about it. Obviously the red states kicked some serious blue state booty in order to become independent. I can see it now...
Bush, of course, would lead the red states. The red state slogan would be "Crimsonia: we don't castrate our straight men." Michael Moore would lead the blue states. Their slogans would be "Teal Land: at least we have diversity," and "Stop name calling you brain dead, evil Republicans."
Since 73% of the military backs the Republicans, the only thing the Dems could do in the Civil War would be to ask the UN for help. The UN would send some peacekeeping troops wearing blue helmets, which would make it easy for Republican five-year olds to identify and pistol whip them with their own guns. The war would last about five days. The blue states would win on one front: fashion. That's right, their gay uniform designers would make sure that their uniforms would be the snappiest teal outfit ever. Unfortunately for the blue states, all their resources would be spent on replacing the uniforms daily, otherwise they might get out of style.
Update:
With my awesome webhacking skills I found the pre-edit copy of an Alley Oop comic. Thankfully an editor got to it before the author could publish it.
4 comments:
well zac... you kind of violated your first place by discussing politics on your first and only date with stacy... she hates you. but i suppose that youve learned from that. and i think that the third place you were talking about was the bedroom... specifically when your having sex. i agree that alley oop is really stupid. i think that a lot of people read it just because its there. and every time they read it they feel like theyve wasted part of their lives. Just like you've done in reading this comment
You know what?
Neither do I....
hehe stacy... I deserve it.
You got that right...
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